having faith

when i first thought about being a "blogger", my heart for the idea was to share the experiences that God was bringing to our lives in hopes of blessing and encouraging others. i so want to radiate the love of Jesus, but sometimes feel like i'm a dark cloud instead. 

the last year of our lives has been by far the hardest i have ever lived. i remember sharing with someone that i felt like God was stretching me so thin, that i was beginning to be transparent. as the words flew out of my mouth i realized that that was exactly where He wanted me, where He could do the most work in me. as i read this devotion this morning, i realized again that God has been at work all along. even in the hardest of hard times, when i literally wanted to die, he was there making my paths strait, cultivating my faith, and doing in me exactly what i have been praying for for years. spiritual growth. not the happy sunday Christian, hide behind a mask kind, but true growth. the kind that's not always happy and pretty. dying to ourselves and our will hurts sometimes. as does pruning, and cultivation for good fruit.

my faith has been tried on so many levels  this year that i thought i had been left behind. i don't say this for sympathy, or questions, or to create, oh brother statements. i want to encourage your faith as well. if there are things in your life where you feel far from God, don't lose heart. i went to a women of faith conference this past weekend. the whole time i was there i felt God was pounding into my spirit that He is in control. if we can let go and fully trust him, he will take care of us, even when it doesn't feel like it. 

i pray for you my friends, as i ask you to pray for me, that we will stand and trust even when it's hard. i have said to raleigh so many times, but i don't understand. well, i'm beginning to see that i don't need to understand, but just trust. i encourage you to take time out and examine the times when you didn't understand, or felt like God wasn't there. ask Him to show you how he really was there. i'm pretty sure he will!